Lyrics

When I get to heaven,
I know they'll have quarter-pounders with cheese,
The girls 'll have hair down to their knees,
There'll be a sea-breeze.
My wife will think I'm wonderful,
And my kids will say 'please.'

I'll be so glad to be there.
I'll try hard not to say:
"There's been some mistake.
This all feels like a set-up,
Is it all fake?
Will I awake?
Or did I die,
I hope so
'Cause I sure need a break."

And when I get there if I can,
I'll catch a few moments with
Alan Greenspan.
He ought'a be there by then...
He'll prob'ly say:
"It's great to be back again."
'Cause we've all known
He's only been down here on loan,
And as I learned when I was just a young pup:
Ev'rything that goes down
Must later come up.

When I get to heaven,
I know there's gonna be a whole lotta dogs.
I'm not so sure about cats --
Well maybe a few,
But maybe not,
Most cats have got
Their own stuff to do.

But what if I don't get in?
What if there's been too much sin?
What if they tell me to go below,
Sit in a chair somewhere
And spend eternity
Losing to Bill Gates at Monopoly....
What if it's something I did
I don't even remember ever having done?
What if I hurt someone?

If I don't get to heaven,
I hope someone will at least tell me why --
Am I some sort of terrible guy
Put here to lose?
Does God make mistakes,
Or does he just choose
To stand by and watch the dice roll...
And sometimes it's seven...
I hope that I get to heaven.